that sappy baby birthday post

Okay, so little Jaker turned one, and as promised, I'm going to have to write a mushy post about my sweet little Momma's boy.

We think he liked his cake. Just a guess.

There's something about the second child - or maybe it's that he's a boy - that's making this birthday MUCH harder than Kate's first. While we haven't ruled out more kids , I'm still starting to feel "babyhood" slipping away. I know I can't nurse him forever (I really do know that, hubby), and I know that him wanting Daddy more often is, in the grand scheme of things, a good thing, but I just can't shake the sad feeling that he's already growing up and "leaving" somehow. Maybe it's because he needed me SO much in the beginning, and I got used to being the sun, moon, and stars for his precious little self (while I don't wish colic on anyone, it certainly is a self-esteem boost to a momma who's had an "independent woman" for her first baby). Give me a moment to wipe this tear.

On a lighter note, a year with a cute and slightly pitiful baby boy has taught me a lot. For those of you who haven't had the pleasure, let me elaborate:
- Those commercials that show what looks like a fire hose spraying when someone takes the diaper off of a baby boy are exaggerating, but only slightly. I thought that was a myth/once-in-a-while quirky thing, but no - they're not kidding. Put on your goggles (and don't open your mouth) if you ever have to change a baby boy!
- Even if boy clothes don't look cute when you're pregnant, you'll end up loving them. Tiny plaid "skater" shirts? Yes, please! Miniature jeans? Who knew denim could make you sigh! An itty bitty necktie?! Swoon.
- Big baby boy eyes and pudgy little hands will make you want to throw all of your good ideas about sleep training out the window. How much can it hurt to cuddle up and let him sleep with you?
- As much as I hate whining, I can't stick to my guns enough to not pick him up when he does it at my feet. It feels good to be needed.
- While I'm not an advocate of "cutesy" little boy clothes, it is HILARIOUS to put your tank of a baby boy in a sleep gown covered in yellow duckies. The "duck dress" never ceases to amuse. 
- First bites, first "words", first steps, and first games are just as good the second time around. And it's amazing how different two kids from the same parents can be - my little Jaker is content to blow kisses and grin at everyone he sees, while Miss Kate was in constant motion and couldn't be bothered by anyone at this age. 
- All the worrying I did before Jake was born about whether I could love another baby as much as Kate was in vain. It's hard to explain if you haven't experienced it, but your capacity to love just explodes when you add another baby to the brood. Even better than what you feel for each one individually? The way you feel the first time they make each other laugh. (Pausing to wipe another tear.)
- Even though you may have an idea in your head of how you want your son to be, at some point you'll realize that the only thing you'd ever change about him is his diaper. 

Happy Birthday, baby Jake. Your mommy loves every wonderful thing about you!

1 comment:

  1. That was touching. The part about the kids making each other laugh was a "whoa" moment for me